Applying Criticism to my Scene-By-Scene

 In our last seminar, we went through our scene-by-scenes, offering each other feedback and ideas. 

My scene-by-scene can be viewed here. 

In the session, I expressed that something didn't exactly work with my story, and it was pinpointed that it was my character Colin's motivation. 

After discussing ideas, a new story arc to feed into the story was created. 

Here is the feedback given for me to improve my story:

• Colin should also live with Ted and Patricia 
• Lazarus (the parrot) acts as the voice for the passed-away wife, repeating comments she said to Ted
• Use Lazarus to motivate Ted into looking for a new relationship
• Ted needs to talk to Patricia more and have her drop clues
• Perhaps a story about her motivations- something telling her she will find true love and egging Ted on to follow the hunt
• Ted and Patricia discuss taking a risk, Colin (who fancies Patricia) sees this as a hint to him
• He is angry that it was a hint to Ted, this is his motivations 
• Colin snatches the letter thinking it is from Patricia but it is from Lizzy, resulting in Ted losing his temper 
• Perhaps even, Lizzy and Colin end up together 

I believe these ideas will make my story more vibrant and my characters more 3D. 

I shall incorporate them in my first 5 pages, my next task for my story.