Applying Criticism to my Outline/Story

After sending my outline (here) to Paul (which he sent on to the other students), I received some feedback on my story. There was a couple questions, things to think about and plot mistakes:

• Why does Colin take the letters? Do we see it? What is his motivation?
• Who do we want Ted to get with? Who does Ted want to get with. It feels in the script like it’s Lizzy, but he ends up with Patricia
• We need to earn the ending, and want it for Ted
• What is Ted’s fatal flaw, how does it hold him back? What’s his want?

These were all really important points that, once pointed out, I realised were really holding my story back from being strong. To fix them, I sat and thought through each point and how it would affect the story going forward. 

• Colin does not take the letters
• Lizzy is supposed to be a red herring, but instead just confuses the reader, it makes the ending unsatisfying
• To fix this, Patricia will be introduced at the start as Ted's landlady, and the final letter will be to his address (this was an idea brought to the table by Paul and made the story feel a lot more conclusive)
• To want the ending for Ted, the script will emphasise his loneliness more, as well as his want to go out and meet new people but be held back by his anxiety
• Ted's fatal flaw is his anxiety, his inability to meet new people, his fear to change what he's known for so long- his want is someone to spend his time with again